Two sides of Welcome
Lately, I’ve been struck by the two sides of welcome: the Welcomer and the Welcomed. The Host and the Guest. I’ve participated in training, both as a participant and a leader, on being a welcomer in God’s global mission. When I served in campus ministry, a favorite part was welcoming international students. I know how to be a Welcomer, and I love it.
About three years ago, I stepped into cross-cultural ministry to live among the Hindu and Muslim diaspora in a US city. I moved into a neighborhood where I am in the minority as a Westerner. I had big dreams of being the best Welcomer ever to my neighbors. However, my experience began to shift. While I was, and still am, a Welcomer, I’ve found the most joy in embracing the other side of welcome. I have learned to be a guest.
Welcoming is not just about extending hospitality but also about receiving it. Being on the receiving end of welcome has felt uncomfortable. I don’t like being served and would much rather be the server. Yet, witnessing friendships deepen as I humbly and joyfully enter my neighbors’ worlds—receiving their hospitality through their cultures, food, and chai—has been beautiful. This honors them as they feel homesickness and disorientation in a new country. Learning to be a guest, to be on the other side of welcome, has helped form friendships that can bear the weight of Truth and opened doors for authentic spiritual conversation that
continue to amaze me. Throughout the Gospels, I’m moved by Jesus embodying both sides of welcome. I mostly notice when He welcomes others: “Come to Me all who are weary and weak.” (Matthew 11:28) “Come to me all who are thirsty.” (John 7:37) He also let Himself be welcomed as a guest at weddings and for meals in people’s homes. He challenges us to receive His welcome too: "The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28) My discomfort in being welcomed by neighbors has paralleled my discomfort in being welcomed by Jesus in prayer. I wanted to be the server among neighbors. I noticed in my own formation a subtle belief that my job in prayer is to do the same with Jesus: to serve only, not to make room to be served. In both situations, I tried to be the host, not the guest. Too often, I’m like Peter, who nearly refused Jesus washing his feet; similarly, I rarely let Him serve me by welcoming my own fears, worries, and insecurities into prayer. When we pray, silence and stillness might bring up thoughts pushed aside by daily busyness. These may seem like distractions or signs of weakness, so we avoid them in prayer. But what if those thoughts, worries, or insecurities could become places of connection to the One who names Himself as the God of Compassion and Unfailing Love? What if Jesus welcomes our emotions as He welcomed the sinful woman's emotional display in Luke 7—with honor? What if our grief is a place of solidarity with the Man of Sorrows, who is well acquainted with grief?
You can’t pass on what you haven’t received. When I receive God’s grace and hospitality in prayer, I become more gracious and hospitable. I bring that same posture into conversations with others. I focus more on others, without coming in with an agenda or a goal. Prayer forms me into a better listener to both God and others. Being welcomed in prayer makes me a better Welcomer.
My experience in prayer shapes how I walk alongside my neighbors. Our spiritual conversations usually begin around our emotional experiences. We come from different countries and faith backgrounds, but we have shared questions and shared insecurities: Why won’t God answer my prayers? What do I do with my anxiety? What do I do with the heartbreak I feel when I look at what’s happening in the world?
A few months ago, one neighbor was very nervous about a decision she had to make. I offered to pray and listen to God with her. She said yes right away! When we met to pray, I asked her what her fear was. "I’m afraid that if I go down this path, God won’t go with me." Isn’t that relatable?
Have you ever felt afraid that if you make a wrong decision, He won’t be there? Her confession opened a door for her to experience God’s love and begin discovering what Jesus is like. Our connection and spiritual conversations started around shared fears and the desire to hear from God. It’s interesting. My conversations with neighbors and with missional leaders often end up in the same place: our experience of God and our beliefs about Him. They share the Gospel regularly, yet busyness and stress feel more real than His unfailing love and compassion.
Welcoming these leaders and neighbors comes from knowing what it is like to be welcomed by God...and knowing they welcome me when they share their burdens. My role as a guest is simply to receive the gift of their authenticity, as Jesus did, with grace and hospitality. It is only then that we can look for God's invitation and Christ-like response together.
Embracing both sides of welcome with God and others is forming me deeply as a disciple. May you also be blessed and transformed by the gifts that come from the two sides of welcome.
